Where Is Our Youth Placed

Because a friend recommended it, I finally made up my mind and spent two days watching this series, Where Is Our Youth Placed? It has been many years since I last sat quietly to watch a TV drama... Today, with the help of this series, I will speak in a scattered way about love.

The entire series is a search for love, romantic and realistic, just like love itself! It tries its best to express the meaning of youthful love—its beauty, romance, passion, and expectations; its restlessness, changeability, confusion, and helplessness... Yet what is love? From the Book of Songs in ancient China to ancient Greek mythology, and up to all the words of humankind today, people have been exploring this eternal theme.

The beginning of the series is a poignant piano piece, the famous melody from My Memories of Old Beijing—“Farewell”: Beyond the long pavilion, beside the ancient road, green grass stretches to the edge of the sky... In life, gatherings are rare, and partings are many. It seems to foreshadow the ending.

Immediately after, there is Teacher Luo Hui’s quantum mechanics class: “In quantum mechanics, there are only variables and no constants... The probability that I stand here teaching you is close to zero; this is entirely an accident...” It hints at the variables and accidents in the plot and seems to reveal the cause.

The Accident of Love

In this series, there are two main lines of love. One is the tangled love between Li Ran, Zhou Meng, and Du Xiaobin; the other is the persistent romance between Ge Jun and Dai Yan. The two have different styles. The former arises naturally, while the latter also “arises naturally” through the woman’s bold pursuit.

Life is an aggregate of accident and sensibility; accidents create inevitability, and sensibility is mixed with reason. I have kept thinking: apart from death, is everything in life an accident?

Falling in love with someone is very accidental. A meeting of eyes, a sentence, a scene—any of these can make a person deeply fall in love with another. When Li Ran went to pick up Zhou Meng, he mistook someone else for her, and Zhou Meng quietly paid attention to him. Ge Jun even casually threw a cigarette butt, and it landed on Dai Yan’s neck... As for my first love in university, it began with a deep meeting of eyes during an unexpected encounter on the way to fetch water. Love, in fact, happens at the first intentional or unintentional meeting.

Is love related to appearance? Love is the sublimation of sex, but it inevitably also contains the desire for sex. At the first meeting, if one can love, then of course it is related to appearance, but this relation is a combination of the inner and the outer. Li Ran cannot be called absolutely handsome, but he has a full masculine charm; Zhou Meng cannot be called absolutely beautiful, but her pure beauty, coming from within, makes one’s heart stir. Wang Bo (Du Xiaobin’s suitor) evaluated Zhou Meng: “It should not be called beautiful; it should be called wonderful!” I agree. By contrast, Liu Yi (Li Ran’s girlfriend in university) and Du Xiaobin are indeed absolute beauties.

However, love is even more a demand for emotion. Beauty and handsomeness (or sex) are not the whole of love. Although Liu Yi has both good looks and a good figure, Li Ran still breaks up with her and deeply falls in love with Zhou Meng. Wang Bo, who pursues Du Xiaobin, is full of talent (a poet) and is also an out-and-out real man, but Du Xiaobin still obsessively loves Li Ran, even though Li Ran does not have Wang Bo’s poetic talent and “does not look as good as Wang Bo in a shirt.” From a man’s perspective, Li Ran is worth loving, and Wang Bo is equally worth loving. Yet there is no reason in love. Loving someone needs no reason; if you love, you love. No matter how hard you force yourself when you do not love, it is of no use. Some people only believe in “feelings”!

Life is full of accidents and contingencies, but not coincidences. This series has too many coincidences, making one repeatedly think of “quantum mechanics.” Liu Yi comes to see Li Ran and is run into by Zhou Meng; the first time Du Xiaobin looks for Li Ran, she is also run into by Zhou Meng; one impulsive moment between Li Ran and Du Xiaobin unexpectedly leads to pregnancy; just when Li Ran has bought 99 roses and is about to propose to Zhou Meng, he suddenly receives news that Du Xiaobin is pregnant; Li Ran and Zhou Meng pass each other shoulder to shoulder on a street in Beijing; the publisher Du Xiaobin finds online turns out to be her first man; Li Ran goes to photograph rural education for the magazine and arrives at the village where Zhou Meng teaches; Li Ran’s photo album also becomes a donated book for the village primary school where Zhou Meng is; Li Ran makes a special trip to the mountain village where Zhou Meng is, and as soon as he gets off the bus, he sees Zhou Meng riding past on a bicycle... This kind of possibility can only be described as slim—no, extremely slim—like when I casually dialed a mobile number, and the person who answered was actually the quiet and serene Ningjing. But the plot is indeed wonderful; it is just that the further one watches, the more depressed and heartbroken one feels.

The Way of Love and Choice

Men are mostly active in love. If a man is not even active in love, how can one expect him to accomplish anything in career? Yet when a woman is active, it is often easier to break the deadlock. As the saying goes, “When a woman pursues a man, it is like separating them by a sheet of paper.” Du Xiaobin’s pursuit of Li Ran and Dai Yan’s pursuit of Ge Jun seem to make people believe this saying even more.

Two people who truly love each other find it very hard to be together. Either it is the person you love, or the person who loves you; you can only choose one. Du Xiaobin chose the person she loved. Of course, choice has a price. When she hears Li Ran murmur in his sleep, “Mengmeng, I need you...” that heartache is the price. It is also precisely this heartache that ultimately leads her to propose divorce from Li Ran in prison.

Trust, Understanding, and Tolerance in Love

Falling in love with someone is only the opening. When love enters the middle game, lovers inevitably have some misunderstandings and begin to quarrel; in serious cases, they think of breaking up. At this time, three words are needed: trust, understanding, and tolerance. Because of love, there is trust; because of trust, there is understanding; because of understanding, there is tolerance; because of tolerance, there is the continuation of love. We cannot keep watch over our lovers at all times, and for many things that happen, the reasons behind them cannot be known. Behind much complexity and mystery, there may simply be a simple, trivial cause. Therefore, trust and understanding are especially important.

The word tolerance is easy to say, but hardest to practice. It requires great magnanimity. In tolerance toward love, women seem much more generous than men. “Among thousands and thousands of people, you meet the one you meet; in thousands and thousands of years, in the boundless wilderness of time, not a step earlier, not a step later, you just happen to catch up...” Since she has been caught up with, she stands there timidly, beautifully, and expectantly. Why should one care about her past? She made mistakes in the past? What is a mistake? What was the reason? Was she forced? Was it voluntary? Forget it, too tiring. If there were no past, how could she stand before you in the most beautiful season of her life, at neither an early nor a late time, in exactly the right place? Better to tolerate all her past. That past has nothing to do with you; what has to do with you is only her present and future. Love her well, now and in the future; give her joy and happiness, now and in the future!

Tolerance is not only of the past, but even more of the present and future. People come together because they understand, and separate because of misunderstanding. More people separate forever because they cannot tolerate. Zhou Meng tolerated the appearance of Liu Yi and tolerated the existence of Du Xiaobin; similarly, Li Ran also tolerated Zhou Meng’s “policeman” classmate and tolerated her losing the engagement ring. Therefore, their love continued. While tolerating others, one also tolerates oneself. But tolerance still has limits: Zhou Meng can no longer tolerate Li Ran’s going to Tibet and not returning; Li Ran can no longer tolerate his own impulse with Du Xiaobin in Tibet. So the two separate. Have their hearts separated? Do they no longer love?...

Misunderstanding, lack of understanding, and loss of tolerance turn love into harm! Yet trust, understanding, and tolerance can bring love back from the edge of loss and can make love continue more deeply and persistently. This is true of love, and also of marriage. So many people marry and then divorce. Why? Is there no love? If there were no love, how could they have entered the palace of marriage? It is only that they have reached the limit of tolerance. This limit varies from person to person! What is my limit? In love, some people were saying forever not long ago, but turn around and find a new relationship—what speed. Love cannot be easily judged right or wrong, but I am afraid of girls like that! Really afraid! As for the limit of tolerance in marriage, I do not want to say. If I said it, you would not believe it.

The Sensibility, Right and Wrong, and Adversity of Love

Li Ran clearly knew of Du Xiaobin’s feelings for him. After going to Tibet, he did not know how to refuse and even taught her photography, which does not conform to ordinary human reason. While traveling together in Purang, Tibet, Li Ran took Du Xiaobin’s hand when going up the mountain. He clearly knew her feelings for him, yet did not know to avoid it. This is also puzzling. Li Ran deeply loved Zhou Meng, yet had an “impulse” with Du Xiaobin in a hotel. Was it because they had gone through hardship together, or simply because of sex? The only explanation for this: love is sensuous; reason is merely the coat it occasionally puts on, only to conceal impulse...

On the surface, Zhou Meng is the weaker party, hurt by love, and it is Du Xiaobin who took Li Ran away. But love itself is innocent! As long as one does not resort to unscrupulous means to do harmful things, does not harm others, and does not take advantage of someone’s difficulties, such pursuit of love deserves praise! It is the publisher who coerced and tempted Du Xiaobin and used insidious means to obtain “love” who is despised by the world.

Several people all taste the sweetness, bitterness, sourness, and spiciness of first entering society. This is an inevitable stage of life. Zhou Meng’s teaching methods suit children, but not a China eager for quick success and instant benefit, so during her internship she is sent back by the primary school. Yet in a mountain village primary school she finds her true value. After marriage, Li Ran and Du Xiaobin also rush about in Beijing; when going to the hospital for an examination, they cannot bear to take a taxi in order to save money. Dai Yan and Ge Jun come to Beijing and rent a tiny room. Ge Jun sings in a bar in Sanlihe, but because his style does not match, he is dismissed and becomes a street singer. Dai Yan also suffers endless unreasonable bullying from her female boss.

This kind of love in adversity between Ge Jun and Dai Yan perhaps interprets the true meaning of love. In particular, the scene in which Dai Yan accidentally discovers Ge Jun singing in an underground passage is so moving that one is speechless. Yet how many couples can be so willing to endure hardship? Dai Yan and Ge Jun also once broke up, but they reconcile. Just at that moment, however, she watches helplessly as Ge Jun dies in a car accident. It turns out that even heaven is jealous of such love...

The Helplessness of Love

Precisely because love has the most brilliant beauty, it gives people the deepest pain. In this world, two opposing and mutually incompatible things always coexist in one body in a contradictory and contrary way.

Love is the most beautiful flower, but it cannot withstand wind and rain. Perhaps a gentle gust of wind can blow down its tender stem and make it wither. Love is too brilliant, so it is also more easily dimmed. It always leaves hatred and regret...

Two people who love each other deeply, just when they are confident that they can be together forever, turn around once, and it is forever. What exactly is changing? The scenery outside? The heart inside? I do not know. I only know that the two who love each other can never be together again! Li Ran and Zhou Meng can never stay together for a lifetime. Li Ran can only murmur the name of his beloved in his dreams, while Zhou Meng can only use tears to write letters to Li Ran that he can never receive, under the pale moonlight. When Dai Yan holds Ge Jun’s ashes and fades alone into the distance, it makes one sigh even more at the helplessness of love.

After experiencing the helplessness of love, more people blindly submit to fate and let themselves be a drifting withered leaf, involuntarily and aimlessly wandering in the long river of time, until they meet a windless shallow bay and settle their wandering heart. Some people always think in the midst of quarrels about when to return to wandering, only to find that it has become a lifelong attachment. It turns out they can no longer leave this place, for they have concerns and responsibilities. Some people ultimately cannot endure this torment and summon the courage to sail away from this shallow bay and continue wandering. Yet their body, already that of a withered leaf, has only a stubborn stem left. Perhaps they may still meet a shallow bay where the withered stem can rest, or perhaps they will be lonely for the rest of their lives, no longer believing in love, until they return to green mud or smoke and dust, and only then find release. This is marriage...

Love and Oneself

Love cannot be explained clearly in a few words. Then, can it be explained clearly with more words? From the Book of Songs—“Guan, guan, cry the ospreys”—to ancient Greek mythology—the Trojan prince handing the golden apple to Aphrodite—and to all kinds of words and artistic forms today, none can explain love clearly. It is precisely because it cannot be explained clearly that people have talked about it for thousands of years. Since it cannot be explained clearly, then let me talk about myself.

We are often moved by other people’s stories, yet forget to be moved by our own stories. As for youth, although it is difficult to place, everyone will eventually place it well; only the way of placing it differs, and the ending differs.

Let me borrow that philosopher’s words: “Each of us is a thinking reed, destined to be lonely.” It is truly difficult for one person to walk into another person’s innermost heart. Although loving and being loved, the soul still moves forward alone. I have always wanted to leave the world’s vanity far behind and go to a place where no one knows me, a small town or village, and do something simple. A bed and a bowl of porridge are enough. A dream of many years—unexpectedly, it appears accidentally and simply in this series. The unfamiliar place where Mengmeng goes is also the place I have always wanted to go.

Years later, the male and female leads embrace in front of the golden leaves by the mountain village road. Those golden things are not leaves at all; they are clearly youth about to wither!

Youth is like a song

You sing along freely

Youth is like a river

You drift along as you please

In fact

Youth is just a fireworks display

In an instant it burns to ashes

Leaving only coldness

Yet that brilliance that once bloomed

Forever scattered in some corner of a dream...

—Respectfully written to mourn my youth, which seems already to have been placed